Eli & Abstraction: The difference between a rock and the number 2 (with a brief discussion of Wednesday)

Eli’s teachers and his parents have noted that it’s hard to tell whether Eli understands abstraction.  What is abstraction, anyway?  I’m hard-pressed to define it clearly for myself.  More importantly, any definition I might come up with would probably be more confusing to Eli than an example.

On a recent walk up Bowen Hill, I broached the subject.  “Eli, do you know the word ‘abstract’?”  (In circumstances like this, I’ve found it best to start with how to spell a word.  It’s easier to get Eli interested in something when I come at it via one of his strengths.  Also, I’ve found that he quickly loses interest in my long descriptions, so I try to opt for short sentences and lots of questions.)

Spelling is easy for Eli.  He guesses at the correct spelling on his first try.  My next question, “What does it mean?”

“Um, I don’t know.”

“Well, I don’t really know either, but I can tell you something that definitely is abstract.  Can I tell you?”

“Sure!”

“The number 2.”

“What?”

“The number 2.”

“Oh.”

“So, tell me about the number 2.  Can you put it in your pocket?”

“No.”

“Can you pick it up and throw it at that tree?”

“No.”

“What about that rock, there.  Can you pick it up and throw it at that tree?”  (We’ve had several walks that devolved into rock-throwing, so my suspicion is that he’s very familiar with the tangible nature of rocks.)

“Yes.”

“So, that rock is not abstract.  It’s real.  Oops.  Hm, the number two is real too, right?”

“Right!”

“So that rock is the opposite of abstract.  It’s concrete.  Hm.  Well, concrete is confusing maybe.  Let’s use another word, tangible.  That rock is tangible – you can pick it up, feel it, put it in your pocket, throw it, whatever.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Does that make sense?  …the difference between a rock and the number 2?”

“Yes.”

“OK, so what about Wednesday?”

“What about Wednesday?”

“Yeah.  Is Wednesday like a rock, or the number 2?”

“The number 2.”

“OK, but is Wednesday like the number 2, or a rock?”

“The number 2.”

“Can you put Wednesday in your pocket?”

“No.”

“Can you throw Wednesday at that tree?”

“No.”

In that moment, Eli seemed to get what I meant.  And so, I am hopeful and curious about where we will go with this idea the next time we talk about it.

Gem 1

Eli this morning: Mommy, do you know what? Everything is real.

Everything is real.

Addressing Eli's Needs

MAPS is underway. Our goals from this process were focused on getting Eli successfully through fourth grade and shaping a solid transition to the Richmond Middle School for seventh grade.  The top needs we identified to achieve these goals are:

(1) Friendships and mentorships: Find natural peer mentors in his class and nurture existing friendships.  A potential model for mentoring is the "Best Buddies" program which would link Eli with a friend and mentor through a Shriver Foundation program (this would have to be developed in Vermont as the program is in other states but not here yet).  One positive existing source is Special Olympics.
(2) Evaluate and modify the curriculum relating to Eli's needs and strengths and our vision for his future, focusing on inclusion where reasonable and parallel learning where we agree it makes more sense.
(3) Find "ways in": explore modes of learning that exploit Eli's strengths and interests such as song, dance, piano, other instruments, basketball, and other modes, to be discovered. Experiment with conveying curricular concepts through these modes.  Educate the team about what holds the most promise for particular educational goals.
(4) Investigate Technology: Will an iPad or a small notebook PC or other device enable Eli's ability to learn, communicate, and make the curriculum more accessible? Can the iPad act as a virtual service dog, giving Eli instructions and nudges about what to do in a situation?
(5) Psycho-social development: Eli needs age appropriate and developmentally appropriate instruction about relationships as he enters the age of "crushes" and starts to travel in his world more independently.  Concerns include teaching Eli about giving appropriate space to others in the right context and keeping Eli safe from predators and those who might otherwise exploit him.
(6) Construct a plan for independence: understand the life skills he will need to accomplish the appropriate level of self-sufficiency for each stage of his school experience, for extra-curricular programs, and for adult life after that.  Starting with fourth grade and middle school targets, (a) explore ways that peer advocates can help and develop those peers through direct and indirect means, but be careful not to mess too much with the wonderful natural peer advocacy already there! (b) identify goals for independence that can be started at home and encouraged at school.

I have a list of people who signed up at the MAPS day to address some of these.  We need more volunteers.  (A reminder that volunteers only need to be willing to keep track of progress, not take responsibility for accomplishing the goal or addressing the need.)

Eli, present and future.

So I didn't get to everything before the MAPS meeting!  Just to bring us to a milestone, below are the last questions we'll consider tomorrow.
I started this blog so that anyone who wanted to think about the process before-hand would know what the questions would be.  I hope this was helpful for those of you who like a few days to warm up your thoughts.

I want to emphasize, though, what Craig (our moderator) has conveyed:  Don't worry about not having something to say!  You will.  People tend to enjoy this day and once the conversation gets going, everyone feels compfortable participating.

I can't wait to see everyone tomorrow!

The remaining steps.

Fourth Step:
WHO AM I / STUDENT CHARACTERISTICS: a description of yourself, including the strengths, skills, likes, and values you perceive in Eli.  What words best describe Eli? What skills, gifts, and talents will support Eli’s journey toward his goals?  What other skills and talents will Eli need? What do you like/dislike about Eli’s current situation? What values and beliefs guide Eli’s life and work and guide your role as a person supporting Eli’s development and future?

 

Fifth step:
NEEDS: a description of the things that need to happen to help make the vision for Eli’s future come true. This list will include new experiences, skills, or resources and support that Eli will need.

Belonging...

NPR article this morning: Kids with Autism spectrum disorders are much more likely to be bullied.  Bullying is a classic part of the many social difficulties kids with ASD have.  In this story, home schooling was the remedy the parents chose.  Eventually, the parents found a school for ASD education.

So this raises all sorts of issues related to Eli...
How will we know if he is being bullied? Eli can't and doesn't communicate problems he experiences in a clear way.  Often he doesn't remember much of his day or at least can't access it when asked about it.  (He sometimes seems to be replaying a movie reel of the day from start to finish when he is asked to recall the day...struggling as he views the movie to see each event).

How will we address growing issues of social isolation?
Besides the difficulty of knowing when it is happening or how much it is affecting Eli, how will we deal with what he is experiencing?  Can we address something when we don't understand it fully from his perspective? Is integration always the answer? Is it more important to keep Eli with kids who so clearly love him or find new kids and new community?
Dan was heroic in bringing Eli to the Upper Valley Special Olympics community.  I wasn't sure it would be a good match, but Eli loved it.  That experience made me open up to the possibility that other special communities might have much to offer Eli--everything from Hartford High School to Berkshire Hills Music Academy.

Part of the impetus for holding a MAPS was to address Eli's social isolation--a new phenomenon so profoundly obvious this year where it had not been in previous school years. In this MAPS we can't address every problem he might face, but we can shape Eli's experiences to give him a variety of social groups so that we can start to understand which experiences are helpful and which groups and environments are most nurturing for him.

One month away! New Location see link.

We are less than a month away from meeting together. Please note the new location, Tracy Hall, for Eli's meeting. 

http://eliweintraub.blogspot.com/2012/02/please-join-us-as-we-map-elis-future.html

Monster with the yellow hair...

Sometimes Eli tells stories in the morning while we make breakfast.  His favorite character recently has been the Monster with the Yellow Hair and Black Eyes.  The monster usually does fairly innocuous things like get stuck in the jungle or drive a blue dump truck.  


I like the monster.  


I don't know if this character is a monster because Eli is scared of this character or if he is a monster because nine year old boys like monsters.  I feel like I pretty much know when Eli is scared, though, and he doesn't seem scared when he talks about the monster.  
His fears are more about dandelions and bandaids and tall grasses and not knowing the schedule.  He is NOT afraid of the ocean.  Maybe that's because he's been at the ocean every year since he was 3 months old (as he was in this photo).  


The things Eli does fear will be a barrier to his success and progress, though.  So we need to share them, confront them, and keep up with them as they change.  


On the other hand, . . . fears can be very useful information for planning and preventing disaster.


To continue about Eli--> 

• What should he fear that he doesn't? 
• What do you think his fears are right now? 

And to refocus a bit back to the MAP-->

• What are your worries or concerns about Eli’s future? 
• What hazards and barriers do you see?  
• Where might people, places, or limits on experiences, skills, or resources stand in the way of realizing whatever goals Eli has before him?